🌀 How to build your network like a playlist

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The other day, as I watched my daughter run off to play with her friends at the school playground, I couldn’t help but marvel at the ease with which kids connect with one another. They don’t care about titles, industries, or resumes—they just dive into the fun, make new friends, and find common ground without overthinking it.

That got me thinking: When did we, as adults, lose that ability to connect so freely?

In today’s essay, I’ll dig into what it really means to build a network. You’ll learn:

• the difference between divergent and convergent thinking

• how to think of networking like a healthy informational diet (eg: diversity matters!)

• practical tips to help you break out of your own bubble

Let’s get to it!

Lindsey

Become part of an ecosystem

Last week, I accompanied my daughter to her school playground after dismissal. Droves of children descended on the swings and slides, jumping around as parents tried to find safe ground to wait. 

As we were walking, my precocious grade schooler asked me about how my day was going. 

“What’s wrong Mama?” she asked. 

“Well, I’m feeling frustrated because I got a lot of rejections today from a proposal I sent out” I replied. 

All she said was, “Hmm”, before quickly running off and joining some friends by the seesaw. 

When she returned a few minutes later she told me that she had a solution to my issue. 

“You should keep asking until someone says ‘yes,’ that’s what you always tell me!”, she explained confidently, with a smile. 

When walking back home that day, I realized my solution came from the unlikeliest of places — a small child. And that got me thinking about the importance of a diverse network. 

Networking is a term that makes people balk nowadays. We’ve all been there—awkward events, collecting business cards, and making small talk that often leads nowhere. But what if the problem isn't networking itself, but how and where you're doing it?

If you’re only networking in the same spaces with the same people, you’re just setting yourself up for more of the same. If I keep going to the same coffee shop, I’m going to see the same faces. It’s comfortable, sure, but comfort doesn’t lead to growth.

If you really want to build a network that’s diverse and dynamic, you’ve got to break out of your routine. Try a new spot, attend an event that’s completely outside your industry, or just strike up a conversation with someone you’d normally pass by.

Magic happens when you step into new spaces and create the conditions for unexpected connections.

Great networking is not just about adding names to your contact list; it’s about bringing together perspectives that wouldn’t normally mix and watching what happens next.

We call this, Atomic Influence.

Many adults don’t have diverse networks. It’s often because we become more specialized as we age and restrict our network and our ways of thinking.

But what is the real cost of this?

Studies actually show that children are more creative than adults because they’re more likely to use divergent thinking and build connections with people who are not like them. 

This ties directly into George Land and Beth Jarman’s fascinating 1968 study: testing creativity in kids. They applied a creativity test, originally made for NASA engineers, to 1,600 children aged three to five in a Head Start program. The results were so impressive that they checked back in with the same kids at ages 10 and 15.

The test pushed kids to think outside the box and come up with fresh, innovative ideas. 

Here’s the mind-blowing part:

• 5-year-olds at Genius Level: 98%

• 10-year-olds: 30%

• 15-year-olds: 12%

• Adults (average age 31): 2%

What happened? Land discovered it’s all about how we think. 

There is:

1. Convergent thinking: Critiquing, refining, and improving ideas consciously.

2. Divergent thinking: Dreaming up original ideas subconsciously.

As we grow older, we shift from divergent thinking to convergent thinking. Divergent thinking, which kids excel at, involves dreaming up original ideas and making novel connections subconsciously. On the other hand, convergent thinking focuses on critiquing, refining, and improving ideas consciously.

Kids, with their boundless creativity and divergent thinking, naturally connect with a wide range of people, fostering diverse networks. They aren't yet confined by the specializations and biases that limit adults. As a result, they are more likely to build rich, varied networks that spur innovation and fresh perspectives.

So, how can we as adults tap into a diverse network?

Diversifying your network starts with genuine connection

Since 2020, you can meet anyone, anywhere, anytime—but after the 35th Zoom icebreaker, we were all left feeling oddly lonely and exhausted. We became Zoom zombies—little boxes on a screen.

The heart of effective networking is genuine human connection. It starts with empathy and authenticity. When we begin from a place of genuine interest and understanding, our networks naturally grow and evolve. This approach makes it easier to build relationships with people outside our typical circles, opening doors to new perspectives and opportunities.

Transactional talk and gamifying business connections might create a buzz in the moment (adding another LinkedIn connection), but those relationships rarely evolve into anything substantial. Why? Because the initial connection is often shallow, made with someone already within our usual network. Challenge yourself to build a sustainable, growing network where you truly value who people are, their experiences, and their unique insights. 

By doing so, you’ll uncover new opportunities and create a network that enriches both your professional and personal life. It’s time to move beyond the superficial and embrace a more meaningful approach to networking. This is the approach I use. 

Building your networking playlist

Imagine your networking efforts as putting together an epic playlist of perspectives. Just like mixing up your information diet keeps things fresh and exciting, tapping into a variety of viewpoints in your networking can lead to richer, more innovative ideas.

Here are some practical, actionable steps to diversify your network:

1. Be intense about the stuff that light you up: If something excites you, even if it’s unrelated to your career, pursue it. Send a DM to someone you admire on Instagram or LinkedIn. Better yet, make a phone call. It may sound old school, but some people appreciate the more personal connection in the deluge of digital communications.
   

2. Work your values: Know what your values are and make sure others know them too. Put them on your website, LinkedIn, or create a personal handbook. This will help people understand right away who you are and what you can do. This will help self-select the people that may enter your network and allow you to weed out those who may not be the best fit. Sometimes, being selective and patient with connections leads to the most enriching relationships.
   

3. Be helpful: Networking is about connecting with people. When establishing a new connection, make it clear you’re interested in their thoughts and experiences, too. What value or insight can you provide to them? Also, remember that in-person meetings are back. If you want to stand out, be in someone’s presence. It’s the quickest way to see if you click.
   

4. Ask different better questions: Instead of the usual “What do you do?”, ask questions that dig deeper. “What excites you right now?” or “what’s something weird or intriguing you’ve come across recently?” Be clear in the questions you ask and open about your multifaceted life. Asking deeper questions will lead to more fruitful conversations.
   

5. Join diverse groups: Look for groups or events outside your field. It could be a hobby club, a volunteer organization, or a community meetup. These spaces are fertile grounds for diversifying your network. You’d be surprised what you can find on meetup.com, eventbrite.com, discord.com, your local library or community centre, co-working spaces or even doing a deep dive into a special interest you may have! (I recently found an entire group of people in NYC through Ram Dass’s website!)

Diversifying your network and building that playlist of valuable perspectives can be simple. 

Following the above steps will help you pursue your interests, while building deeper connections with new people. The important thing is remembering that the most innovative or exciting ideas can come from the unlikeliest places, but you have to be willing to put in the work in a way that may be unusual. 

We've seen how kids, with their boundless creativity and divergent thinking, naturally form diverse networks that foster innovation. We've learned that the real magic happens when we step outside our usual circles and embrace fresh perspectives. And now, we understand that genuine connection is the key to a truly vibrant and dynamic network.

Networking isn't about playing the numbers game or climbing some corporate ladder. It's about building an ecosystem where diverse ideas and experiences flourish. So, take these insights to heart.