If it sucks, you can leave; the world is as we've made it

Tyler Sellhorn is a software nerd, youth sports coach, spouse, and parent based in the US. He's worked as a successful remote worker and leader in tech companies. He grew up as an only child who loved books, played American football in college where he met his spouse, and he's deeply shaped by 20th century theologians and writers on leadership and human development.

An identity stack keeps growing and reordering based on seasons, unlike fixed frameworks that suggest you're a finished product. Your professional identity serves your personal ones: spouse, parent, coach, believer, learner. These aren't separate compartments; they're interrelated. In sailing terms, they're the ballast that keeps the ship steady. Some seasons professional identity matters most. Other seasons it's parenting or partnership. The stack acknowledges you're always adding layers, always evolving. Your spouse's lesson makes you a better leader. Your coaching experience shapes how you implement technology.

Showing up as your whole self, online and offline, is how you actually build community and have real influence. When you read someone's post and tell them you read it, when you treat Slack avatars as real people, when you imagine the faces behind default profile pictures, you create different relationships. The magic isn't the platform or the in-person event; it's your choice to be present and authentic. Remote workers who succeeded early didn't compartmentalise; they brought their whole selves into every interaction.

You're never actually stuck; that's a lie that gets passed down by people who are also stuck. Barry Sanders retiring from the NFL because a new coach's style didn't align with him showed Tyler that whole people get to make choices. If a job sucks, if a platform doesn't serve you, if a relationship isn't working: you can leave. The world is as we've made it, and we can choose different. Mute the bot comments. Block the fake engagement. Jackhammer the concrete.

AI is exceptional at compression and code generation, but it's subtractive technology everywhere else because feedback loops don't exist for most human work. LLMs turning transcripts into meeting notes is genuinely amazing. Code generation works because the system can immediately test if the code runs. But law, medicine, creative writing: these need 10-15 years of data to know if an output was good. No feedback mechanism means AI slop thrives. The technology is transformational but bounded; knowing the boundaries is the real skill.

🙏 Special thanks to our podcast producer James McKinven! (get in touch for all your podcast needs, he’s really great!)